I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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