yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
