I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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