Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
