the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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