I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
