3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
