I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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