I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
