some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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