Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
