You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
