PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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