One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
