dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
honey bunches of taint.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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