i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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