There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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