Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
