census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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