the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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