I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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