so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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