Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
