honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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