you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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