I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize