But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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