Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's shark week go big or go home
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
