I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
