at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
