yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if only i could text you this smell
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize