The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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