I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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