arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
