I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
