I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He felt like a one man threesome
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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