So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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