Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
