You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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