i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
