Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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