Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone came in the potted fern
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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