In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
