i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
