i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
