Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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