I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
