you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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