We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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