Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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