I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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