so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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