I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
