he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
