the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
