yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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