marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize