i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
