And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
