Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
