im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
